Significance of a Funeral or Memorial Service

There are three basic needs fulfilled by the funeral:

• Emotional - a funeral allows us to “let go” of our emotions and face the reality of death. It allows family and friends to share memories of a loved one, to laugh and cry together and provide vital support for each others grief.
   
• Social - a funeral is a social event that emphasizes and acknowledges life. It is also a historical event that should be shared, so that family and friends can support each other.
   
• Spiritual - a funeral helps us realize that material things don’t really matter as money can’t buy the most precious gift of all, that of life. A funeral gives expression to love and allows faith to be shown.

Denial is always easier than reality, without a meaningful service the family could face more difficulty in the days to follow. Without this time of reflection and remembrance, they lose a real opportunity to begin the grieving process. A funeral is for those who are living. It is a celebration of the life of the loved one, not the death. It is also a great comfort and support for families to see how much their loved one was also loved by others. From stories the guests will share the family can hear insights into their loved one’s life that they did not share, and may have never heard before. A service gives everyone a chance to celebrate that this person lived.

It has been said that every life has value and every life makes a contribution to the world. The funeral/memorial service is a testament to that truth. A service creates a moment in our busy lives to pause and reflect on the meaning that this person’s life has had for us. To their credit, funerals also provide us with an accepted venue for our painful feelings. They are perhaps the only time and place, in fact, during which we as a society condone such openly outward expression of our sadness.

Choices that the family makes to personalize the service can make it more meaningful for those attending. At Pacific Gardens Chapel families are encouraged to select their own music, readings or poetry, and they can choose whether a religious or non religious ceremony is more appropriate. The order, content, and style of service can be varied to suit the family’s needs. A personal tribute from a friend or family member, or perhaps including appropriate cultural traditions, may also make the service more meaningful. The involvement of the body of the person we are mourning in the funeral experience is very important in helping us through our grief. It is painful to witness the final committal of the body, but the act of that person leaving us helps us to accept the reality of their death.

Families can think of Pacific Gardens Chapel as a blank slate. Along with the customizations mentioned above, our Chapel can be set up with any number of physical memorabilia. The loved ones favorite belongings, objects from their hobbies, things they made or worked with, etc. Also, the use of funeral display photos has been an age-old practice. The main objective behind the use of such photos is to show a time in the deceased person's life when they were most happy. Friends and loved ones of the departed would be more than happy to see a vibrant, lively image of them and preserve that image in their minds and hearts. Funeral display photos may be a collage of different photographs of key moments in the deceased person's life. It could be a collection of pictures from the time they were a child to the time when they were at the prime of their life. These photos are also effective in reminding friends and relatives who will attend the memorial service of special times they shared with the deceased. The pictures stir up old and fond memories which make it easier for the bereaved family and friends to cope with the loss.